Creative Difficulties

I now realize why I never talk to people who I have gotten over. There was a boy, let's call him T, who was my very first love, way way back in seventh grade. He broke my heart, without the benefit of a relationship, and now every once in a while he pops back into my line of view. This time, he appeared in my subconcious. He and another old, old friend made appearances in my dream Monday morning. I couldn't get him out of my head, and so I Facebooked him. Typed in his name, and there he was, staring moodily out of his picture at me. All the good feelings I ever felt for him rushed back in that second, and on a whim, I added him as my friend. Like a weirdo, I have been checking for the last two days to see if he had accepted my friendship. However, as of ten minutes ago, two and a half days since I added him, he had not accepted. Now this could simply be because he never gets on Facebook. He could have one because he wanted to get in touch with an old friend, or a girl, or simply because everyone else did it. That is what the logical person would think. However, in my feminite, illogical brain, the only reason he could not have added me yet is that he does not want to be friends. Which causes me pain, because we were very very close once upon a time. And the fact that by not doing anything he can still cause me pain infuriates me. I have people who I talk to every day who cause me pain. I don't need a figure from the past coming in and joining him. Damn subconcious. I didn't want my first post to be such a downer, but that's what's on the brain at the moment. And it's keeping me from writing my paragraph.