Energy Draining, Power Fading

I am so unbelievably tired right now. I don't think that I have been this tired in a very very long time. I spent all weekend at the rio. If I wasn't at the rio, I was getting ready to go to the rio or helping out with rio stuff, or thinking about what I needed to do for the rio. And don't get me wrong. I love my job, and I love the people I work with. However, I am very tired, and I just want to stay away for a little bit. Maybe branch out and go to Jo's and listen to the band, and just chill. We had Urban Assualt on Sunday. This is a huge Austinized bike race, that happens every year, and what happens is the participants have to ride around to different stops and complete different activities. Once they finish the activity, they receive a bead and move on to the next stop. They end up at RunTex, where there is food and beer and water and drinks and a band and all sorts of fun stuff. As you might have guessed, we provided the food and we also helped bartend. That's what I did. New Belgium, which is a Ft. Collions brewing company, was giving away free beer, and we were slingin 'em. It was awesome fun, but very hard work and very tiring. We worked from about 10-2 and it was hot. We were in the shade all day, but it was still super hot. So yeah. It was alot of fun and I'd definitely do it again next year, but now I am tired. School starts on Thursday. I'm so thrilled. and then on Friday I am going to Houston after work to see the BoSox play the 'Stros. TWICE. I am super excited. I just hope I have a little more energy by then!

New York New York, It's Good to be Home

I went to New York City this week. That sounds so jet-setter and fabulous. It wasn't quite fabulous, but it was alot of fun. My family and I went up there Sunday morning, and spent two days doing family stuff. We went to the UN, a Yankees game (YECH!), Little Italy, Mass at St. Patrick's, Central Park, the Museum of Natural Science, and a Mets' game. It was an awesome two days. One of my dad's business associates was able to hook us up with the most awesome hotel I have ever stayed in in my entire life, excluding the Four Seasons in Dublin. We stayed at the New York Marriot Marquis. This hotel is the biggest hotel in the entire city. It has 2000 rooms, and is right in the middle of Times Square. It even has its own Broadway theater! It was amazing. One of the coolest things was the elevator. You put in what floor you wanted to go to and it told you what elevator to go to. It was so cool. The trip itself was alot of fun. However, spending time with my family was a little strange. I dunno, I love my family and I love hanging out with them. But the way that I feel like they treat me, or the way that they do things with me is that I can't be the person I have become around them. They don't see me the way everyone else sees me. and it makes life really difficult. It makes me feel like they force me into a hole that they see me in. And I hate it. I'm not that person anymore. I'm growing and changing and becoming a whole different person. They just don't see that. I mean damn, I have my own crazy life that I'm living and staying in tune with the person they want me to be is not really in my line of sight. I don't want to be that closed in, one dimesional, flat person who likes the same things that everybody else likes. I am not that person anymore. I am not like any of my siblings at all. I have a tattoo, I drink like fish, I smoke every once in a while, I work in a restuarant, I take risks that maybe I shouldn't take, but that's me! And I wish my family would see and respect that.

5 things under $5 that I cannot live without:
1. Chapstick
2. Soap and Glory Bubble Bath
3. Bread
4. Milk
5. Glade Candles
5 ALL TIME Favorite Movies:
1. Elizabethtown
2. High Society
3. Pride and Prejudice
4. Hook
5. Newsies
5 baby names I love
1.Tucker
2. Emma
3. Micah
4. Molly
5. Lorilei
5 people who have influenced me in a positive way:
1. My mom and dad
2. Nana
3. George
4. Katy
5. Steph
5 things that are always in my purse:
1. Wallet
2. Mint Chapstick
3. Trident
4. A pen
5. checkbook
5 Moments that have changed my life
1. Graduating high school
2. Going to St. Ed's
3. Working at the Rio
4. Working at the library
5. Getting my new car
5 obsessions I have right now:
1. Myspace
2. My Mp3 player
3. Movies
4. Cheez Dillas
5. blogging
5 places I would like to go
1. Boston
2. Paris
3. London
4. Cali
5. Ireland
5 Celebrities I hate to admit I keep up with:
1. Britany Spears
2. Jolie/Pitt Fam
3. Reese Witherspoon
4. David Beckham
5. John Mayer
5 Most exciting things about this summer:
1. NYC
2. Red Sox game!
3. Urban Assault
4. The 4th
5. Colorado in July
5 Goals I am currently working on:
1. Losing weight
2. Training the dog
3. Not dying
4. Staying stressfree
5. Not spending money
5 People that come up most often in my Normal Conversation:
1. My mom
2. Lindsay
3. Alanna
4. Aurora
5. Lauren

Wowsers

It has been an interesting week, full of friends, disappointments, joys, sadness, sickness, health, relaxation and stress. To say the least it has been a week of contradictions. Sunday I was at the lake, doing something I haven't done in years and years. That's right, I actually watched the entire Indy 500. It was interesting and pretty fun. Monday I went to lunch and wine tasting with Z. and then I went to work, which was ok. Not super fun but ok. The new roomie and the puppy moved in on Monday as well. Which threw another weirdness into the mix. And then Tuesday I went to work and then came home. The puppy and I hung out all day. I watched movies and she took random naps on the floor under the table. It's her favorite spot. Then Lauren and I went running. Wednesday I went to work and then I was going to surprise L at his gig. However when I showed up at Jo's, no one was there. Which was a little disappointing, but for the most part it was cool because I found a great new place to just kind of relax and people watch, as well as read my book. Then I went to RA's last night. That was really fun, but really sad at the same time. He's been our GM for ever. And now he's going to Boulder. Sad days. Then today I went to work, came home and went swimming with Mary. So much fun. Then I went to work, which was so so so so so so so so ssssssssssllllllllllllooooooooooooowwwwwwwww. And Pat was there, and I FORGOT TO RING IN HIS FOOD. I was sooooo embarressed!!!!!!!! I never do that! And I did it to OUR OWNER! ugh. It was bad. Actually, it was ok, just bad for me. So yeah. But yes. It's been strange and interesting and it's not over yet. We'll see how the rest of the weekend goes.

On Ignoring and Being Ignored

Those of you who know me know that the one way to unbelievably unconditionally piss me off is to ignore me. It's annoying as hell and really really rude. Which is why, when under instructions, explict instructions, mind you, to ignore a certain person I find it very difficult, even though I have been subject to the same treatement by him. And it really really really really really drives me absolutely INSANE. which might be why I have such a hard time A) getting him out of my head, and B) ignoring him. However, something else I have discovered is in order to ignore a person, he or she has to be trying to get a hold of you. Otherwise its just you not getting in touch with someone else. So if you want to be technical, I'm not trying to get in touch with him. Not ignoring him. Either way, it's annoying and very difficult. And I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

On the other hand, everything else seems to going pretty good. I'm balancing both of my jobs, which is amazing, and I'm actually managing to have fun doing it, which is even more amazing. We'll see how I start handling things when summer school starts. Guess what else is happening! I'm going to New York in a couple weeks, AND when my darling, precious Red Sox come to Houston to play the Astros, I WILL BE THERE ON SATURDAY NIGHT TO WATCH THEM!!! I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so super excited about it!! Like when my mom told me we had tickets, my voice hit different octaves! So yeah June will be a GREAT month.

First Week of Real Summer Has

so far sucked. I have had really no fun in the last week. Since I got home on Sunday, I have been working like a mad woman. And I'm not even sure I have anything to show for it. I'm tired, and cranky, and I can't sleep. I don't have to work today, but I still have nothing to do. I was thinking about getting my hair cut, but I'm not sure if it's long enough to change it again. I do know it's freaking thick enough. I don't know. I just want something fun to happen, and someone to show up to do it with. I think that's part of my problem. I have no one to do anything with. which makes life a little boring. And other people won't answer anything I say to them, which is ANNOYING AS HELL. UGH

Change of Scenery, Same Old Luck

No matter what I do, no matter where I go, no matter my position or personality, I am still stuck with the luck of the damned. Life just never seems to go exactly the way I want, or need it to. Part of it is my fault, but part is just dumb stupid lack of luck. Which is kind of the same as L.'s lack of communication but mine is not my fault. Perhaps it is watching/listening to Michael Buble, who embodies my idea of a perfect man that makes me so downhearted, since he is in his thirties and has a steady girlfriend in the beautiful Emily Blunt. Men are not made like that anymore, and if they are, they disappear from view when I come around. Or they decide that I am not who they are looking for. I'm too tall, too big, too loud, not loud enough, too boyish, too shy, too saracstic, too nice, not nice enough, I can't dance well enough, not smart enough, too smart, etc. I know I know I know. My time will come, there will be a man sometime who looks at me and sees all the good things that I am and take them with the bad. I know all of this. And I appreciate all the compliments and the love I receive from all of my girlfriends, female and male. However, while that is greatly appreciated, and I am thankful for all of you, sometimes that just doesn't cut it. I want a heterosexual SOBER male to be interested and say things like you're great and wonderful and take me in his arms and hold me. I want him to be interested in ME as a person, as the crazy, shyish, loudish, sarcastic, book loving, movie watching, red sox obessesive, procrastinating, lazy ass me that everybody else knows and loves. I don't want him to be interested in my friendship, or my body, or anything like that. Why is this so hard for me to find? Why is it so hard for him to find me? I AM RIGHT HERE!!!!!!! TAKE A CHANCE!!! THERE'S MORE TO ME THAN WHAT MEETS THE EYE!!!!