Change of Scenery, Same Old Luck

No matter what I do, no matter where I go, no matter my position or personality, I am still stuck with the luck of the damned. Life just never seems to go exactly the way I want, or need it to. Part of it is my fault, but part is just dumb stupid lack of luck. Which is kind of the same as L.'s lack of communication but mine is not my fault. Perhaps it is watching/listening to Michael Buble, who embodies my idea of a perfect man that makes me so downhearted, since he is in his thirties and has a steady girlfriend in the beautiful Emily Blunt. Men are not made like that anymore, and if they are, they disappear from view when I come around. Or they decide that I am not who they are looking for. I'm too tall, too big, too loud, not loud enough, too boyish, too shy, too saracstic, too nice, not nice enough, I can't dance well enough, not smart enough, too smart, etc. I know I know I know. My time will come, there will be a man sometime who looks at me and sees all the good things that I am and take them with the bad. I know all of this. And I appreciate all the compliments and the love I receive from all of my girlfriends, female and male. However, while that is greatly appreciated, and I am thankful for all of you, sometimes that just doesn't cut it. I want a heterosexual SOBER male to be interested and say things like you're great and wonderful and take me in his arms and hold me. I want him to be interested in ME as a person, as the crazy, shyish, loudish, sarcastic, book loving, movie watching, red sox obessesive, procrastinating, lazy ass me that everybody else knows and loves. I don't want him to be interested in my friendship, or my body, or anything like that. Why is this so hard for me to find? Why is it so hard for him to find me? I AM RIGHT HERE!!!!!!! TAKE A CHANCE!!! THERE'S MORE TO ME THAN WHAT MEETS THE EYE!!!!