Dear You

*This entry will be written in the form of a letter, to a man who will never get it, and will never know.


I am sad. And I think you knew I was sad when you hugged me today. We were friends from the very start. I remember the first time we met. I thought "That guy is so awesome. We're gonna get along great." and we did. We laughed, we shared, we hung out. I thought there was a little something more there, maybe at Christmas. But then we didn't see each other for a long time. Months in fact. And then when I came back, it was like we were never apart. And then you moved on. We kept in touch, seeing each other once in a blue moon, mainly by my making. But everytime we hung out, no matter how mad I had been at you before, I couldn't be mad at you. I loved you. I love you. And I tried so hard not to like you. I knew it was a bad idea, and I KNEW that I would end up being hurt. Which I am. Of course. When they told me you were moving away, I didn't believe it. I wouldn't, couldn't believe it. It was simply because you were out of town. Everything would be back to normal when you came back. But then you came back, and you told me yourself. So I accepted it. But I still thought maybe something would happen the last time we hung out, when we said goodbye, something would be there. And then you dropped the bomb last night. Not only are you leaving, but you are engaged. To be married. To a girl you've known less than a month. When you hugged me tonight, I knew it was the last time we would see each other. I couldn't let go. I didn't want to let go. But I knew I needed to, because I could feel the tears coming, and I knew you (and everyone else) wouldn't know why I was crying, and I didn't want to be that girl. I let go. I will miss you more than you will ever know. I left without saying anything to you, after that, simply because I knew I couldn't stand there and watch you watch me. So here are the things I wanted to say to you, but couldn't. I love you. I will miss you. Have a safe trip, and be happy. And thank you. You have touched my life in more ways than one. Thank you for being my friend.
Love always, me.