Dear You

*This entry will be written in the form of a letter, to a man who will never get it, and will never know.


I am sad. And I think you knew I was sad when you hugged me today. We were friends from the very start. I remember the first time we met. I thought "That guy is so awesome. We're gonna get along great." and we did. We laughed, we shared, we hung out. I thought there was a little something more there, maybe at Christmas. But then we didn't see each other for a long time. Months in fact. And then when I came back, it was like we were never apart. And then you moved on. We kept in touch, seeing each other once in a blue moon, mainly by my making. But everytime we hung out, no matter how mad I had been at you before, I couldn't be mad at you. I loved you. I love you. And I tried so hard not to like you. I knew it was a bad idea, and I KNEW that I would end up being hurt. Which I am. Of course. When they told me you were moving away, I didn't believe it. I wouldn't, couldn't believe it. It was simply because you were out of town. Everything would be back to normal when you came back. But then you came back, and you told me yourself. So I accepted it. But I still thought maybe something would happen the last time we hung out, when we said goodbye, something would be there. And then you dropped the bomb last night. Not only are you leaving, but you are engaged. To be married. To a girl you've known less than a month. When you hugged me tonight, I knew it was the last time we would see each other. I couldn't let go. I didn't want to let go. But I knew I needed to, because I could feel the tears coming, and I knew you (and everyone else) wouldn't know why I was crying, and I didn't want to be that girl. I let go. I will miss you more than you will ever know. I left without saying anything to you, after that, simply because I knew I couldn't stand there and watch you watch me. So here are the things I wanted to say to you, but couldn't. I love you. I will miss you. Have a safe trip, and be happy. And thank you. You have touched my life in more ways than one. Thank you for being my friend.
Love always, me.

Bad things

Bad things happen when I hang out with alcohol and boys I like. You find out things, like how TRULY stupid you are for liking this person.

Best Night in a WHILE

Last night was the thing I have been looking foreward to for about a month now. That's right. It was the Thriving Ivory show, and it was freaking AMAZING!!! It was just an awesome night all around, except for a little drama that happened at the end of the night, but it was fun for the majority. First, Lindsay (my friend from the Rio) and I met at said Rio to start the night with mini margs before heading down to La Zona Rosa. When we got there, there was seriously a line down the block and around the corner, made up of mostly fifteen year old girls and their parents. Not gonna lie, I felt so old. So we made it in at about 7:30, and got drinks, and scouted out a good spot on the floor. If you have never been to La Zona Rosa, it's basically this dive bar with a huge stage and standing room only. That's right, there are no chairs, no stools, no nothin. But it was fun. So Steph, Lauren and Lauren's boyfriend Steven show up about 8, right before the first band came on. They were called I Hate Kate, and they were really good. It was alot of alternative rock, but not like emo rock if that makes sense. Let's just say I could see myself jamming out in my car to them. And the lead singer looked like a mix between Jude Law and Chris Martin, but he was from Cali. A good mix if I say so myself. Then this band called Cory Lamb came on. They were ok, a little harder rock and a little more something, I don't know what it was but it kinda reminded us of a boy band. Then Thriving Ivory came on. OH MY GAWD they were awesome. They started with Runaway, which is one of my favorite songs, and then followed it by Twilight (another of my favorites) and then For Heaven's Sake, which has been my MOST favorite song for a while now. It was an amazing set and they sounded sooooooooooo good! and it was nice to see a huge crowd listening to them. Last time they were here, they played at 1 am, and there were maybe twenty, thirty people there, most of them who already knew them and/or worked there. ANYWAYS. after they played, (too short of a time, if I had to say so), we waited thirty minutes for Secondhand Serande to set up and come on. They were ok. I wasn't really a fan. But yeah. We only stayed for a couple of their songs because we had to meet people at the Rio before it closed. So we were walking out, and I see this guy in this white shirt talking to this guy in a green shirt. I thought, huh that kinda looks like Bret, but I'm not sure. As we got closer I realized it WAS Bret, and I was like Linds, I'm sorry I gotta talk to him. So I went up, touched his arm, and was like, you guys were awesome. He was like oh thanks! and went in for a hug, and I was like, do you remember me? From the Rio? At Southby? And he was like OH MY GAWD! yeah I do!! I talked to you for like five hours! You were working and I was just sitting there yapping! I laughed and said it's ok, you kept me entertained. SO then we got a picture, and I was like, sorry, we have to go! we're meeting some people. And he said, well what are you doing tonight? And I said we were going to go play shuffleboard, and he was like oh I love shuffleboard! I'm pretty good. I laughed and said that I never played so I didn't know if I was good or not. But if he wanted to, he could come meet up with us later, and that we would be at Buffalo Billiards. He said that the bands were all going down to sixth street, so he might see us there. So we hugged like three more times and then Lindsay and I left. We got to the Rio, and a napkin was hurled at me as we walked onto the patio. It was my friend Matthew, who I hadn't seen since he had gotten fired from the rio about a month ago, so that was exciting. So we had drinks, went to Buffalo Billiards, played shuffleboard, left, went to blind pig, had gross, expensive shots, and left. Then we went to Kerbey Lane for breakfast(this was like 3 in the morning). We didn't see the bands again, but it's ok, because it was a GREAT night regardless!!!! Sorry for the lack of quotation marks, I'm in a rush. Gotta go to work!

Slowest Week EVER

I don't know what it is, but I feel like this week has been the slowest week ever. I thought (for the life of me) that yesterday was Thursday instead of Tuesday. But unfortunately it wasn't. I think it's because next weekend is going to be so fun and boy-filled, that the next two weeks are going to go super slow. That and I realized that I'm super broke and therefore things are going to be a little tight until I get paid again. Which luckily is very soon, but still. I mean I have to get groceries, because frankly I have no milk or eggs, and that cuts down ALOT on meal choices. And I haven't had Starbucks in over a week. I'm going through withdrawals. I miss Starbucks. I had Seattle's Best last night, but it was not very good. Sad to say, Starbucks makes the BEST chai tea lattes. Seriously. And now I really want one. And a slice of pumpkin loaf. that would be delicious. I miss Starbucks. I miss not having money. And I lost my starbucks card. Which REALLY makes me sad. I just want things to go faster. So yeah. That's my life at this moment in time. Interesting isn't it.

Busy Busy Busy!

So I've slacked very badly on blogging, which I am sorry for. But I have a legit reason. School started a week ago, so I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get back into the swing of things. Which I think I have done pretty well, which makes me happy, since this semester has to be freaking awesome to help make up for the last couple which have sucked. I am taking 12 hours of class, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which isn't bad. I'm actually pretty lucky because I've taken two out of my four classes before, so my teachers are cool about it. On Tuesdays, I don't have class until 2, which gives me the whole morning to do whatever else I need to do, whether it's finish up homework, or do one of my three internships, or sleep in. Whatever. And yes, I did say three internships :-). I like to be busy, what can I say. Thursdays, I have to be at the middle school where my secondary curriculum class is taking place at 8, but I'm done by 10:30, so I still have time to come home, change out of my good clothes and study some with Lauren before class. And I have time to eat lunch at home, so I don't have to constantly buy my lunch. Good things all around. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I'm working at school in the Alumni and Parent Programs office as a student worker from one to four on Mondays (because I go straight to the Rio after, I have to be there at 4:30), and one to five on Wendesdays. So it'll be good stuff I think. Fridays, I work at the Rio in the mornings and then I have the afternoons to do what I want. Saturdays I work at night at the Rio and Sundays (the holiest of all freakin days) I have no work at all. I am super thrilled that my schedule stayed exactly the same at the Rio. It makes life so much better.
So that's what I have been up to for the last couple of weeks. I'm also in the process of applying for Teach for America and ACE, which reminds me I need to look into taking my GRE. I am not just working all the time though. There has been time for fun. There was a Labor day party last Sunday which was super fun, and then there was a Frat themed party I went to on Friday. It was great fun. Pics up on Facebook :-). I'm also going to SA this weekend for Ally's birthday/move in. I miss that girl terribly. Then the next week, on the 19th, Thriving Ivory comes back to Austin, and I am so super excited about their show, it's not even funny!!!! It's gonna be a great couple of weeks. I just hope I can make my money stretch that long :-)