Wowsers

It has been an interesting week, full of friends, disappointments, joys, sadness, sickness, health, relaxation and stress. To say the least it has been a week of contradictions. Sunday I was at the lake, doing something I haven't done in years and years. That's right, I actually watched the entire Indy 500. It was interesting and pretty fun. Monday I went to lunch and wine tasting with Z. and then I went to work, which was ok. Not super fun but ok. The new roomie and the puppy moved in on Monday as well. Which threw another weirdness into the mix. And then Tuesday I went to work and then came home. The puppy and I hung out all day. I watched movies and she took random naps on the floor under the table. It's her favorite spot. Then Lauren and I went running. Wednesday I went to work and then I was going to surprise L at his gig. However when I showed up at Jo's, no one was there. Which was a little disappointing, but for the most part it was cool because I found a great new place to just kind of relax and people watch, as well as read my book. Then I went to RA's last night. That was really fun, but really sad at the same time. He's been our GM for ever. And now he's going to Boulder. Sad days. Then today I went to work, came home and went swimming with Mary. So much fun. Then I went to work, which was so so so so so so so so ssssssssssllllllllllllooooooooooooowwwwwwwww. And Pat was there, and I FORGOT TO RING IN HIS FOOD. I was sooooo embarressed!!!!!!!! I never do that! And I did it to OUR OWNER! ugh. It was bad. Actually, it was ok, just bad for me. So yeah. But yes. It's been strange and interesting and it's not over yet. We'll see how the rest of the weekend goes.

On Ignoring and Being Ignored

Those of you who know me know that the one way to unbelievably unconditionally piss me off is to ignore me. It's annoying as hell and really really rude. Which is why, when under instructions, explict instructions, mind you, to ignore a certain person I find it very difficult, even though I have been subject to the same treatement by him. And it really really really really really drives me absolutely INSANE. which might be why I have such a hard time A) getting him out of my head, and B) ignoring him. However, something else I have discovered is in order to ignore a person, he or she has to be trying to get a hold of you. Otherwise its just you not getting in touch with someone else. So if you want to be technical, I'm not trying to get in touch with him. Not ignoring him. Either way, it's annoying and very difficult. And I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

On the other hand, everything else seems to going pretty good. I'm balancing both of my jobs, which is amazing, and I'm actually managing to have fun doing it, which is even more amazing. We'll see how I start handling things when summer school starts. Guess what else is happening! I'm going to New York in a couple weeks, AND when my darling, precious Red Sox come to Houston to play the Astros, I WILL BE THERE ON SATURDAY NIGHT TO WATCH THEM!!! I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so super excited about it!! Like when my mom told me we had tickets, my voice hit different octaves! So yeah June will be a GREAT month.

First Week of Real Summer Has

so far sucked. I have had really no fun in the last week. Since I got home on Sunday, I have been working like a mad woman. And I'm not even sure I have anything to show for it. I'm tired, and cranky, and I can't sleep. I don't have to work today, but I still have nothing to do. I was thinking about getting my hair cut, but I'm not sure if it's long enough to change it again. I do know it's freaking thick enough. I don't know. I just want something fun to happen, and someone to show up to do it with. I think that's part of my problem. I have no one to do anything with. which makes life a little boring. And other people won't answer anything I say to them, which is ANNOYING AS HELL. UGH

Change of Scenery, Same Old Luck

No matter what I do, no matter where I go, no matter my position or personality, I am still stuck with the luck of the damned. Life just never seems to go exactly the way I want, or need it to. Part of it is my fault, but part is just dumb stupid lack of luck. Which is kind of the same as L.'s lack of communication but mine is not my fault. Perhaps it is watching/listening to Michael Buble, who embodies my idea of a perfect man that makes me so downhearted, since he is in his thirties and has a steady girlfriend in the beautiful Emily Blunt. Men are not made like that anymore, and if they are, they disappear from view when I come around. Or they decide that I am not who they are looking for. I'm too tall, too big, too loud, not loud enough, too boyish, too shy, too saracstic, too nice, not nice enough, I can't dance well enough, not smart enough, too smart, etc. I know I know I know. My time will come, there will be a man sometime who looks at me and sees all the good things that I am and take them with the bad. I know all of this. And I appreciate all the compliments and the love I receive from all of my girlfriends, female and male. However, while that is greatly appreciated, and I am thankful for all of you, sometimes that just doesn't cut it. I want a heterosexual SOBER male to be interested and say things like you're great and wonderful and take me in his arms and hold me. I want him to be interested in ME as a person, as the crazy, shyish, loudish, sarcastic, book loving, movie watching, red sox obessesive, procrastinating, lazy ass me that everybody else knows and loves. I don't want him to be interested in my friendship, or my body, or anything like that. Why is this so hard for me to find? Why is it so hard for him to find me? I AM RIGHT HERE!!!!!!! TAKE A CHANCE!!! THERE'S MORE TO ME THAN WHAT MEETS THE EYE!!!!

Almost Home

For the last week I have been in Lubbock, shadowing elementary librarians and spending time with my familia. It was alot of fun, and I love libraries more than I did before I went. It is truly what I want to d with my life, whether it is in an elementary school, a middle school, a high school or a public library. It is just so much being in charge of the books. You can arrange them the way you want, put them in the perfect order, the way YOU want them, and even choose the books that go in your library. And for those who know me, you know I love my things in a certain order, especially my books and my movies, which is the basis of a library. I can see it now, hundreds of books on all different subjects and different authors, each in there correct spot. Colourful rugs on the floors, fun decorations on the walls, a rocking chair and a spot for kids to sit and read. SIGH do I have to finish school before I have my own library?

Now I'm in Houston, after driving yesterday from Lubbock to Dallas for Annie's 25th birthday. She's so old! It was simpler for everyone (except Darcy) if I came back here with my family. Then it's back home tomorrow for the real start of the summer. I'm going to be the summer student worker at the office, and working three days a week at the rio. Once the second session starts, I'll also be going to class two nights a week. I looooove my life! But we get a puppy for the summer! And i now have wednesday nights off so I can go see L. play. We'll see how this goes.

Out Like A Light

Last night was the last, very last, day of school. Finals and all. And most of my lame friends wanted to stay in and not do anything. Very lame. Some of them had excuses, but most were just lazy. So Mary and I went and spent about ten minutes standing in Midnight Rodeo, holding/sipping our drinks and watching the people dance, enjoying the good music. Then I saw someone I knew. I've only met him once, and he was rather drunk, but I don't forget a face. Brandon, my friend Karla's boyfriend, was spinning some girl who was not Karla on the dance floor. I was kinda shocked because he didn't seem like that kind of a guy.

Two seconds later, I look, and Karla and her friend Jessica are walking right towards us. So we stopped, said hi, and joined their party. It turned a kind of boring slow night into a lot of fun. I danced, even though I'm not very good, I tried to flirt, which apparently I'm not good at either, and I tried to forget that L was ignoring me. That was very hard though. The thing about country music is that when you're already kinda down, unless you rock out to it, the sad songs GETCHA. It's part of the reason I love it, but part of the reason I hate it. But I digress. It was alot of fun, we all said we would have to do it again soon, and I have been reaffrimed in the fact that I am (and I quote) "The Shit", according to Matt and Brandon.

Now I am off to L-bock for a week, the land of real country, real cowboys, and real fun. I'm looking foreward to some Aaron Watson tomorrow night, some quality time with the Georgester, and the Lloyds, and all my friends who are up there, and maybe spending too much money on a pair of boots. We'll see how it goes. See you soon!